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At the time of my divorce, I was glad it was happening because I could honestly tell myself that we should have never gotten married. After my divorce I had fun. I didn't "date," but I spent a lot of time with the type of women that I knew I shouldn't settle down with when I was ready. One day I met this girl back home that completely blew me away.
One thing led to another and after actually dating for 3 years we got engaged, and here we are 2 years after that Current situation- I feel like she tries to change me to who she wants me to be instead of who I am, even though the things she tries to change would really make me a better person. I also feel like she doesn't have any respect for me, like she expects me to do what she says when she says with no questions asked.
Whenever things are going remotely difficult in her life she takes her frustrations out on me by getting mad at the smallest things I do. With that being said, I can really tell that she tries hard to make me happy, but only when my idea of me being happy and her idea of me being happy agree. She holds grudges and when something goes wrong she takes it out on me, but I love her a lot.
The problem I have is that when I got married before I knew deep down it was a mistake, and learned from it that I shouldn't make that mistake twice. Like I said, during my divorce I was glad it was happening. I do love her very much, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling like I'm doing something wrong, because she likes to dig for the things that I'm doing wrong. We are going to separate colleges and don't get to spend much time together, but when I'm with her I'm happy, as long as she is in a good mood.
At the beginning of every semester when we have to leave for college I cry, which I don't do very often, but once I'm away from her it's no big deal to me. When we met my heart used to "flutter," but it doesn't anymore. Actually now it feels like it's more of a chore to maintain our relationship than anything, and I don't know what to do.
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