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I do think a counselor helps too they are there to guide you, and hold one able. It's very easy for someone to SAY they make changes, and then not follow through with it. A weekly session helps keep the problem from being swept under the rug, which just causes even more resentment.
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You married a guy who is up playing video games at midnight so getting him to understand you point about his friend constantly being over isn't going to happen overnight.
He's up when you get home but he'd rather play video games. You can try to his world and get involved with what he's involved with but nagging him to your world isn't working. The stupid remark from the co-worker, about the dinner you brought, you shouldn't let get to you. Your husband didn't make the remark. Sure it was in poor taste, and likely fed from anecdotes your husband supplied but still you need to get over it.
As for the constant threat of divorce: you and your husband need to establish some ground rules for fighting, one of which should be no threatening divorce. Nothing you have mentioned in your posts is divorce worthy. So no bringing up the D-word unless one of you is packing their suitcase. Because things sounds really volatile right now, I would back off him for a while.
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